Cool, my hand is twitching now too =D

Cant stop...

Life is going in so many directions and the stress of it all is catching up.

For one, I've lost my apetite. Honest to god I'm barely hungry anymore. And when I do eat it's usually junk, then my stomach and body hurt and give me bad tummy aches right after even if it's good food. I had to fucking try to eat dinner tonight, and now I feel sick. I'm really not kidding if anyone thinks I am.

I don't know what I want to do about college or the plan about moving out now. I'm just not thinking straight kuz I keep changing my mind. And now it feels like I'm being pressured in to getting an apt with my friends. I want to move in with them, but I don't think I'll be able to do that for a while. I don't have a steady income or responseability to do so right now. I really want to move in with Sid and Kadie though, but kinda not right now lol. I hope to god neither of them read this though, kuz then they wont want me to go in on it because they'll feel like they're pushing me into it.

My love life is going fucking crazy. And Kadie is in the center of it. First she doesn't like me, then she does, then she doesn't, and now she does. I think it's hurting me lol. But I want to be with her, i want things to be like two nights ago. When we were both so....there. It was good and bad. I'm glad it all happened though, even though we were both really horny lol. The car steamed up. NO WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. Other than kissing =D. But it was like nothing else in the world could even compare. And again, way too many directions lol. I wish I knew how she felt about it though, she said she liked it all, but I wonder how unhorny Kadie saw it. And this whole thing is just one big rollercoaster, literally.
I could also really use having sex right about now. I kinda don't care who though lol. I just need to get rid of some of these built up hormones because of that night with Kadie. This is not me asking anyone for sex, just me reporting on my journal haha. Hmm, now that I think about it, there actually is no one to do it with anyway. Fuck lol.

I'm worried about messing up my new job by either being late or doing something stupid. I really like doing prep work though, the guy who is in charge of prep is really cool. He played hacky sack with a dough ball =D. And it finally feels like I'm doing something.

I'm scared to go back to TKD. My body might not be able to handle working out in the condition I'm in right now. Also because I haven't been there in three weeks now, I don't want to be asked why I was gone so long. Half of it was kuz I was being "18", the other half kuz I felt like I couldn't. I know Instructer Sean's going to yell at me, Grandmaster Jung is going to tell me I have to pay if I'm not there teaching. And I'm sick of making up excuses that are mostly bull shit. I feel like I dissapointed everyone there. I feel like a failure.

Home is okay right now. I've lied a lot, but my mom is off my back for the time being. My dad, ever passive. Sid told me my parents were like the parent's the kid from Zapped had. He was fuckin right, they seriously are exactly the same! Except my mom's not a religious nazi, even though she can act the nazi part lol. Kris isn't being an outrageous asshole either. It's weird lol.

That therapyst I went to see isn't helping a bit, she only seems to talk about what we need to talk about next time. I still feel depressed and still want to die. I'm not going to go anymore, it's not worth it.

I feel really bad right now, like I want to throw up again. But I never end up doing so. I'm tired as hell and probably have made countless spelling errors lol. So ingore them.
I feel like I'm about to just die, and I kinda want to. For some reason I'm only sweating out of one armpit xDD


On the plus side, I like work. I got Viva La Vida and a Muse CD with Super Massive Black Hole on it =D
Plus the whole thing two nights ago with Kadie =), It was le special haha. And the dirty side of my mind is a crazy bastard xD who has gotten better at things like that. Thank you Kadie for being awesome =)

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Post anonymously [by selecting the anonymous box]. Speak honestly, because there isn't any censure here. Post as many times as you like. One faceless wonder to another. You don't have to be on my friends list. You can just be stopping through. It doesn't matter.

And then, pass it on.

So wednesday was nice.
Except that I'm going to totally fail Physics. Haha, the teacher even told me so. xD

We had a test in Math. I think I did pretty well. And I'm more than certain that that girl across the room does like me. Don't know what to do about that. Whatever

Philosophy, we walked over to Laurens house and had a BBQ. Reasons why I love that class =)
Felt wierd though, once I got there I really wished I had ditched the class. I barely know Lauren and don't really like her, same goes for most of the class. Just another akward social gathering. =P
May fail philsophy if I don't do my papers. Can't fail that class. Need to do all the work. Only 3 people are passing anyway, everyone thinks he wont fail any of us though. I still should try my hardest to pass.

Today was, meh.
Went to the library during second off and worked on my music playlist lol
Got CD's from the library, I already burned them to my computer =D
I got scary haunted house noises xD

Finished my photo assignment. Now I'm only one project behind haha.
I'll catch up quickly, that class is super easy ^^

We apparently had our psych final today and when I found out I paniced. And then I decided that I didn't care, so I went and danced in the rain =)
OMG IT RAINED =D
It never rains! I was sooo happy ^^

And Gomez brought his karaoke machine and we played Ozzy in the cafeteria.
It was fun.

I think I did well on that psych test even though I didn't study. It was an AP test from '04, but it wasn't really that hard. The real AP test is next week on tuesday.
Terrific =P

Yearbooks were handed out today.

Right after I got home I passed out on my bed and didn't wake up until 9 lol
That is if you don't count me waking and falling asleep a lot in between

Before I fell asleep I was thinking about my freshman year at Grandview, and just kept wondering what life would have been like if I stayed there instead of coming to Smokey. Ha, there would have been majorly less drama. If anyone ever finds a button that can restart your life, you should share it with me ;)

Yeah, freshman year was pretty good. I had some great friends, but I never kept in contact =P, I wonder if any of them remember me. It was wonderful, except for that one bitch Beccy
I HOPE YOU GET AIDS AND DIE! =)

Besides that, I guess I shouldn't regret anything, but it's way to easy to blame myself for everything that I don't like. Bleh, there really isn't anyone else to blame though =P. Also I've been so full of rage and anger lately. For no good reason either, just from little annoying things. Heh, I might want to get that checked out...

Screw stress and frutration xP
Thank god for summer vacation. I'm still not sure what I want to do after school. The only thing I'm sure of is getting a job. Other than that, there really is no meaning or purpose to my life. Nothing I want to do other than that. Or at least nothing I can think of right now. I love Breaking the Habit ^_^

I haven't been able to sleep very well lately. I've just been staring at the ceiling or wall for like half an hour before I fall asleep. Thinking about stuff, having fantasies of kicking the shit out of people, why I messed up my own life, or about love that doesn't exist and never will for me. Well this post kind of screams self pity so I'm going to shut the hell up now.

And secretly, there seems to be nothing for me after high school. And the only thing I'm looking forward to is when I die sometime in life. Is it wrong for that to be the only thing I'm waiting for anymore?

Well anyways, goodnight.

Meh, Metroid Corruption got boring. I'll play it later tonight after my parents go to bed.
I need to start finishing these games instead of stopping just before the end.

Ha, I really don't want to do my essays. But I really need to.
Bleh. There's no way I can fail though, so I guess I'll stay up and do them.
All 6 of them O_o

And even though I've probably already said this,
I hate feeling alone -_-
I wish someone was here, anyone.

Wow, it's been a month. I shouldn't dissapear like that.

Things that have changed, let's see. I can do a front handspring now, I'm going to be in a demo for TKD for a talent show. It took us the whole saturday to get a song we could work with. It's a cut version of the song from the Saw 4 trailer. It works really well.

What else... I'm not sure,
I'm probably not going to graduate at this rate and nothing seems to make me want to. Although that's old news.

I went to see a psychiatrist, she said she didn't think I was depressed. That I just take in too much sugar and not enough sunlight and exercise. She was probably right. Me being off sugar lasted for about a week, and now I'm back to the way things used to be. A shyt load of sugar, not doing much, no outside interaction. I honestly like this better. More sugar.

Yeah and right now I'm not in a very positive mood. My parents wouldn't leave me alone and were after me for not doing my homework. Then my comp froze up, I had to restart it about 4 times to get it to actually work. Then the internet went out. Took 20 mins to get that to work. And they finally left me alone after dinner.
Then my mom jumped off a spiny chair thingy, fell, and may have broke toe. She is such a fool lol.

I got a new phone, it was free too. The samsung Blast. It's a happy red and black slider phone, only problem is that it's keyboard style. Which is so annoying, but I've figured it out finally.

Prom is coming up.
May 27th.

I want to go, but I'm not sure if I will. I was gonna ask this girl Elizabeth, but I'm not sure anymore. She's been dropping some extremely obvious hints, that I finally picked up on ha ha.

Today was a great day though, just tonight sucked. I got to class on time, I didn't get anything done but I still had fun in photo.

During 2nd off I took Elizabeth to the bank real quick as a favor and then brought her back to school.
Then I took Kadie to Albertsons so she could buy some lunch, I found $2 and decided I was going to buy a rose with it and give it to Elizabeth and ask her to prom.
It took us forever to find a white rose that actually looked decent. But we finally found one at the flower shop under my TKD school(ironicly).

I drove us back to school and Kadie took it to a teacher who she could leave it in their mini-fridge so it wouldn't wilt or die. I was going to pick it up from her after school, but I forgot and had to do like 3 u-turns to go get it XD

And Dani was pissed at me for ditching her because we were going to hang out during 2nd, and rose hunting took longer than expected haha. She got over it though, after she slapped some turquise paint on my face.

So third I just chilled and listened to music. Played some cards, I lost at ERF(Egyptian Rat Fuck) so quick, kicked ass at Idiot though, and no one wants to play Mow(or however you spell it)

Yeah, and for the majority of 3rd off I was terrorizing Martyna. She was wearing a really cute white dress too, the end of it looked like a doiley!
And somehow it ended with me sitting behind her in the same chair scratching her back and pretty much knocking her out from that. And me biting her on her shoulder, which just makes her completely pass out if held on for too long lol. ;D
Lots of hugs, she also showed me where that one turn-on spot around the hips is kuz I was asking. That was interesting.

I still fail at finding that spot though...
I fail at anatomy of the female in general anyway haha xD

( Don't read if your name is Martyna, seriously )

Yep yep.
Well, I think I'll go off to bed now. I'm tired and need to wake up early to do this

I hope you're all doing well, I'll go read the latest entries right nao!
;hearts&!! ^_^

Yeah, it's April first! So yep.

Omg, I forgot that today was April fools until a few minutes ago.
And before that I thought my whole world was falling apart.

Like Nirvana getting back together and having Courtney Love as the lead singer, I was seriously freaking when I heard that and just wanted to go crazy. Evil radio station >:P

And then The Legend of Zelda movie? My gods, that was just epic failure in my eyes lol. Especially since it was following the plot from Ocarina of Time and not creating a new plot, at least it was better than the indie movie trailer I saw a few months ago

Lets all pray that indie movie never sees the light of day XD

Can you really believe anything on April 1st? I mean really?
Ugh. Both of those things would have just killed me if they were true.
And I really hope they aren't

Hey whats up my peeps!! How are you!! I am totally GAY!!! OH YA!!!!!!!!!!!! jk..... watch out I also tend to sit on people!! Its true!! So watch out I have a bony butt!!

Sorry that was Amy. She's some stupid little 13 year old or something like that. I have no idea xD
Wouldn't let me erase it. You suck Amy xP

Yeah, I need to post something creative kuz I'm uber bored @_@

Fucktards!!!!

...

She thinks she missed the train to mars...she's out back counting stars....
Heard that on the radio yesterday and loved it.

I'M SO EFFING BORDE

pornpornpornponrponrpronprnprnprnprnjlidhniehgowei4totqy4u5qoha5yraIoht;ozl,at.azsupermanthathoe

Hi its Amy again BRANDON IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I declare it!!!
CANT DELETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Female bastard.
I started using my sketchbook again... nothing good in it though :P

Except the porn >_>

SHUT UP AMY! YOU ARE NAO!!! lol
God damn!!

I am sorry he is a loser sorry to all those thats his friend, but he is mine too he just has a
bony butt.

Yeah, but your big butt is taking up most of the seat =P
I LOVE YOU CALLIE!!!! ♥
Hope you and Aaron GET HAPPIEZ! =)
and takes it shlooow ;)

♠ =)

&penis; xDD

PAPERCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_@_@_@_@_@_@_#__@_#_@_#_@_#_#_@#$_#$_@#_$@_#$_@#_$_@#_%_@

O__o;;
I've been up all night at TKD.
Amy too(kuz she made me say it)
We are le bored

I'm going insane probably lol, Martyna you suck :P
You too Kadie. And all you punks in happie couples, up yurs XP

I will get the shyt beat out of me later for that :)

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Are you seriously still reading this?
Dumbasses
I love you guys!! =)

Hello people I love =D

I'm in a wierd mood so yeah.

Another quick post just for now.

I'm passing AP Psych again =)
Failing Philosophy :\
And loving Photo ^_^


My parents know about my depression. I left a note for my mom this morning and was freaking the whole day about how it was going to go when I got home.

It went well. They're going to help me and are going to look for a counsuler or something like that. So, my mind and emotions are warped for today @_@

Umm....
I'm still really nervous for some reason, and I feel like I'm shaking even though I'm not.

Bleh :P

But overall this is a good thing and I know it's all going to get better. I don't see anything wrong with this, and I hope I don't find anything to ruin my hopes lol.

woot! I'm also a bit excited.
I'm a loser and want to what kind of way the person I'm going to see is going to take. Psychodynamic, cognitive, humanistic?

I'm such a psych nerd! xD

So yeah, love you all. Going to try to get my homework done and catch up on lj. I'll try!

They took way my laptop and my phone. So I probably wont be posting for a while unless I go to the library during second period. So sorry!

Moving sucks more balls than Pres. Bush

Yeah, so my body was at it's total limits a few days ago. Lifting shit is terrible. Drinking 5 Mountain Dews and nothing else for a day is horrible. And I did that for two days :P

I've decided The Beatles and The Beach Boys are two of the greatest musical groups ever =)

But so are the Flobots =D
( Flobots )

Today in Physics we tested what happens when you put mentos in diet soda.
Carlo put some mentos in his mouth and took a swig of some diet Big K XXD
That was amazing. He almost started throwing up, he should have swallowed the mentos XD!

I like Martyna, and she knows it. Problem is she wont date me kuz we're too good of friends :P
Dammit XP

Yeah, and I bought something while thinking of her. Damn xP
It's really pretty though.

Sid was telling me I should come down to AZ and we should live together in a place. I'm all for it actually. I don't know how I'm going to actually go to college and do the work when I can't even do it now. I want to wait a year, get a job, fix and figure myself out before I go back to school. I know I want to go into the psych field, but I'm not sure what.

I'm also worried about not going to school for a year because of what my parents will think. They'll just compare me to my brother, and tell me he at least has a job and didn't get as poor of grades as I do now :P

I use to think it was good that I didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs. But that doesn't really seem to make a difference when my parents sum all of us up.

I REALLY want to leave for AZ now lol. I'm thinking I should just go once I'm 18 and not say where I'm going or what I'm doing.
I'm certain that I can pack all the essentials(and important things) in my car and go to AZ from where I am now.

Bad idea I know, but I really don't want to have anymore involvement with my family. It's just akward as fuck to be around anyone in my family now. I don't know.

And I really want to go ask my mom if she could take me to go see someone kuz I know the depression thing is affecting me and how I act. I remember I always use to watch the depression commercials as a kid and try to rationalize that only adults could feel that way because that's all who they showed on the screen. That or the Zoloft rock who I loved xD and I wasn't a rock with eyes and a mouth that could bounce lol
I think I'll ask Mrs. Keller tomorrow about it. She's my AP psych teacher, she should know this stuff. =)

Back on topic.
I'll leave a note most likely. Fill my car with all the things I might need. And start saving money for gas, food, and clothes for the drive. I would laugh my ass off if my sister saw me in AZ after I told my parents I ran away XXD

But I must pass highschool.
So I need to push myself to the limits and focus on the goal.
The mohawk thing for graduation is still something I am planning on doing. And wearing a kilt on senior ditch day |D

So, I need to write about 5 or 6 philosophy papers and turn them in before I completely fail the class

Pizza party @ TKD friday. Volunteering down at the food kitchen tomorrow, I'm driving because Ryan's car needs to go into the shop. It's sick :(

That's all I can think of right now.
This new house is usrrounded by little kids and annoying little dogs :P
Fuck XP

My mom took me shopping at Old Navy today,
I wandered a bit, got some pants and some cool new shirts

I'll wear one of the new pairs of pants tomorrow.
I got a pair of Painters and some "special" limited pair that's black
They are pretty black jeans :)

We have to have everything packed by tomorrow night,
No exceptions.
I still need to finish my room.

Today was okay. I tried to talk to Martyna about me crushing, but she spent the whole time just thinking.
That's fine
I wish she wouldn't feel bad. For reasons I don't know...

Yeah, evil mind. Telling me to get hopeful lol
Well that's over at least.
One less thing to worry over right?

So, through myspace she basically said. I want to stay friends like we are now.
I forget what else she said, but yeah.

Works for me.
I guess

Haha, I took a nap earlier for like 10 or 20 mins and woke up so depressed.
And starving.
I ate so much at dinner, and was still hungry after.
And then I remembered that I forgot I didn't eat lunch today at school, unless you count one oreo, some orange juice, and a can of soda.

So I must have looked like a starving kid off the street to my parents.
I'm so freaking tired right now.
And I'm still hungry =x=

I need lessons on how to meet girls, seriously.
Kuz I only think about the ones I'm close to, which has serious problems in the long run even if they would go on a date with me.

Man I want a random romantic moment.
That would just cheer me up so much right now,
Blah :P

What else...
Everytime I think about quiting TKD I never actually quit.
For some reason I always stay, it has it's +'s and -'s to it. But I don't want to stay kuz I'm scared of becoming a terrible instructer(and fear I already am). And I want to stay kuz I don't want to have them talk bad about me like they do to everyone else who leaves.

Of course I would miss going there and being around all the friends I've made. But I would also have much more time to myself and less comitment to do. Plus I always end up leaving sports after a while. This has to have been the longest I've been in a sport.

I also don't spar(anymore), so it's not like I can get a scholarship from it. And I can't start sparing up again, I suck bad at it lol.


Need to philosophy.
Tomorrow is the last day we can turn in our philosophical dialouges.
I haven't started yet. :P

Should probably do that instead of writing this...
Oh well, I'm bitching a bit.

I leveled up my Serpent Sword to a Tsukikage to a Heaven's Cloud and to a Dark Cloud sword in the game, Dark Cloud.
One more level to 7th Heaven sword. Yeah

Hung out with Sid Monday. We went to an anime store and looked around for a while. I want to go to the big anime convention in October(or some month). It's NDK. Don't know how to spell it though....
Evil asians lol
Yeah, going to go as Kazuma from S-cry-ed =)

That'll be a fun little project make a costume for.
I also want to go to Warped Tour this summer, it's going to be in California.
That should be just as fun to go get lost in Cali
And find someone who wants to go with me too
w00t!

I need to get a job to pay for both of them.
And there's college starting up....some month after summer
I believe



The room is spinning a bit.
I figured out that I get bad stomach aches from stress,
Which REALLY hurts XP

And my phone is a total piece of shit.
It's effing falling apart.
I have it duck taped so it'll actually work for christ's sake
Stupid POS

I want to get a Samsung Blast from T-Mobile.
With a 2 year contract I only have to pay 1 cent for the phone

=D

Might just take advantage of that offer
And with my crappy phone, how can I afford not to?
lol

And I will post my new address on a custom post when I get it, my # too ;D
Once I move I'm also gonna send those V-DAY CARDS!!!!
Totally forgot about those X3

Also some letters.
Which I should write this weekend or sometime soon
Kuz I really should :)

Well I need to get back to work.
Alrighty, bai

I like you again Martyna.

Sorry :p

I wish it would rain.
All it ever does is blow blow blow.
And the occasional 5 foot snowstorm.

But rain...
I could use right about now
Just one little warm downpour,
Even if I can't go out and experience it first hand
That feeling, that smell, that bit of electricity in the air

The way it always comes at the right time
How everything is wet the next moning
And you can just stare at it for hours without even moving in the slightest bit

It's brilliant really...

How you can just waste the time away.
When you're waiting for the world to change
While I'm waiting for mine to.

If I don't do anything, everything will stay the same
But I can't get up and try.

This slope,
I feel like I'm stuck
And I keep sliding down it
But it's my problem that I choose to do nothing at all
I just wish....

Please rain soon.

Nothing really changes does it?
I'm still putting off all my homework,
Still single,
And still complain when I get my hair cut

But I have changed a lot this year.
I can thank Kristin and Sid for that lol

I'm much different than I was the begining of this school year
Part of me likes the change,
The other part wants to go back to what I use to be like.
Oh well, life goes on I guess.


Moving sucks =P
Secks rocks =D
3DG makes me paranoid >_>
TKD is hard -_-
Sleep = win ^_^
Psychology is.... intresting

Oh yeah, we sold the house and are moving into the new one on the 7th

I will need to make my Valentines at school or the library kuz our color printer has been packed xP
They will now be like two weeks late lol
What better way to say I love you than a two week late valentine? :D

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a great movie that I must get
Beetlejuice too =)

I don't know what else to type xD
I love you all!!

Lots to update on.
Lets see, I've been gone for like 9 days now.
I'll type what I remember lol

Last Wednesday our philosophy class went to the Denver Art Museum. In groups of three or less we had to find a work of art and explain three different philosopher's views about the piece(did I spell that right?). I was in a group with Ryan and Nick. I chose to do my views about some art on freud, woot!

I totally messed that up lol.
The presentations were suppose to be two mins long for each philosopher.
Mine was like 40 seconds xD

I completely paniced and forgot many points I could have made.
Something about sexuality and aggression.
I don't remember.

And then Thursday I went to a soup kitchen with Ryan from philosophy. He's been bugging me for weeks to come down there and help out.
It wasn't bad at all. I mean I got nothing out of it, not even a good feeling.
Felt more like something to do than doing good.

Ryan is doing it so he can get Eagle. Yeah, he's a boyscout XD
Just between the online and me, everyone there had some kind of reason for being there(scouts, church, feeling good, ect.) except for me.
Is it wierd of me to think of them all as greedy for doing that?
Sure it's helping out people on the streets, but it's more for their own selfish needs desires.

Well, I have plenty of time to think about it I guess.
I'm going back tomorrow night.

Btw, I did get kissed on Valentine's Day :)

Friday was only two hours of TKD.
That's all I needed to finish of that week's four hours.
Set up things for testing, practiced forms so all of us blackbelts could help those testing the next day.
Hung around a bit after class was done, didn't do much though.

Belt testing was Saturday.
Went to help out kuz I was 5 hours behind on my total hours working at TKD.
Helped out as much as I could.
Me and Ivan went and got the judges lunch from the Goodtimes right across from TKD.
IT SMELLED SOOOOOO GOOD! T^T

We stole some frys before we got back XXD
And then later Grandmaster bought everyone who was working that day some Goodtimes =D
Me and Mikail(the hell do I spell his name???) went and got it this time.
He made fun of me for being a hippie(am not) and I made fun of him for being a communist russian. =DD

It was soooooooo good!!!
I'm hungry now...

Okay, Sunday I did nothing really.
I played Dark Cloud a lot, and then Nick called and told me his party was actually today!
So I had to find my way to this one girls' house(Maria),
They were combining their parties.

We listened to the Flobots and played Dirty Minds,
Which is amazing fun :)

Then we had to move the party kuz there were some problems,
I'm not getting into it >.>
It involved fire, teen boys, and a pissed off russian girl
Not a good combo...

The other person's house we went to had guitar hero,
And I played it for the first time
I'm addicted =)

Played Prayer of the Refugee twice xD
I ♥ Rise Against ^^

Tuesday and Monday I did nothing actually.
Pretended to do hmwk, played Dark Cloud and leveled up my Wise Owl Sword and Tsukikage.
Screw the other characters, Toan is cool :)

Today was some spirit day thing, Fashon Disaster Day.
I dressed up a little bit.
Nick went crazy, he borrowed my kilt and just had the most outrageous outfit ever.

Got Wendys during 2nd period, sat around and tried to sleep 3rd.
Got treated like a dog, kuz everyone was playing with my hair and scratching me.
It felt good ^_^

I was mad at Kadie.
She was teasing me in the car and also took my overshirt.
So I took her wallet :D

And then I tried getting it back later, after she took it a second time.
So I was stripping her in the cafeteria XD
And then at one point I remembered I was mad at her for teasing me in the car, so I tried doing something about it ;)

But I failed lol

Yeah, I feel pretty lonley lately.
And things I never would have said or done before are just slipping out
Ha, bad idea

Meh, I don't feel like myself at all lately.
It feels like I've been taken over by something different, and I don't favor this change too much.
And after school today I just dropped. :p

We also sold the house and can move our stuff to the new house on the 7th
I was really hoping we wouldn't sell, I don't want to move. But I wont tell me parents that lol

Oh, and thankies the_insane_vamp for the valentines!
I like the Hello Kitty one the best ^^;

I still need to write all of mine, they will be Zelda ones(printed off the internet xD)
Tomorrow is dress like a nerd or a prep day.
Guess what I'm going to be?
Nerd!

w0000t!

*sigh*
VD is near again.
Fun.

Another stupid crush has surfaced.
Will hopefully get over it quicker this time, I'm sick of them lol
Maybe one of these days I'll actually act on them....
VD would be good for that,
But I don't want to take that chance
I already know what would happen :P

I need a good sense of motivation
And a realistic reason to do so

Haha, the only time I've felt motivated in the past week was after drinking a can of Mt. Dew
That's so sad XD

Let's see, what else.
I can tell I'm already going to fail philosophy this semester
Damn

Hmm, this weekend was boring.
People came to look at the house, we may rent or sell it. We need to do one in two weeks
My dad overreacts way too much btw

I want to see Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind again :D
It's been forever since I've seen it. And it's such a happy movie ^_^
One of my fave Miyazaki films

The mohawk for Valentine's is off.
My mom said she will shave the rest of my hair off if I come home with a mohawk
She said I could get one, but only for one day :P

Kuz my image is a direct representation of her parenting skills.
Which I think is bullshit
But I'm also apparently just a teen who wants to rebel
Which is why I also don't do my homework.
Because my parents totally have me figured out

Haha, I feel pretty worthless right now.
I can't even get one worksheet done over the course of three days XD
Weak.

Wow this is just perfect for me xD
I've always had my name mispronounced, only three or four ppl have gotten it right on the first try lol.

Br-in-d-in
Brenden

But the most annoying part was when I was younger and played baseball, one of the coaches I had(I hated him btw) ALWAYS got it wrong. I remember I used to get so annoyed I would yell at him and then he'd make me do fifty push-ups kuz I was correcting him(and yelling :D) XXP

At least everyone else learned how to say it right

I really wish I had a different name, but I wont change it kuz I'll break my mom's heart. She meant to name me different, just like my brother's name being Kris. And my mom's name was a mix between Joe and Dee. Jodi lol
Dammit! My sis's name is normal, Erin. Dad's too, Greg.

Grr!
Stupid weird name!
My teeth hurt, evil retainers!! >P

Platapuss :D

I have a mark on my neck :(
It's the acumulation of three different girls biting/sucking haha
But dumbass redneck Ethan was poking it really hard in physics today
And then he grabed my sides and squeezed really hard.
Fucking hurt so bad
Assface >P

Fuck, bully problems again xP
Why is it this always happens?
Bah, at least Junior year I didn't have anyone picking on me
The only full year of school that I was free from assholes now that I think about it lol

Well, I'm feeling much better
I've been down since about monday
The last post was about an old friend who was a bitch
And one day just stopped talking to me all together
:P

And then it was kuz of Cynthia,
But tuesday helped my mood (If you know DON'T SAY HERE lol)

So today I was better,
mostley listened to The Killers so yeah lol

Nick bugged me until I told him why I was in a low mood for the last few days
So I told him
He told Cynthia (even though I asked him to absolutely not)
Was scared as shit >_<;

She texted me and we talked for a while
I feel much better and we're just friends now
So I'm happy I didn't loose a friend ^^
*sigh of releaf*

That's kind of what I was most worried about
Being lied to and loosing a friend
Thank god neither of them are true

So *happys* again

Oh and ( by the way.... )

The last week or day or month of school I'm going to get a mohawk. Not a fauxhawk, a mohawk =)
I'm going to dye it neon or electric blue, and wear a kilt every day to school til it's over.

I really hope I remember to do that,
Kuz it sounds like uber fun!!
I will get teh beat up x)

So today was kinda dull.

Took my old scetchbook to philosophy for an assignment.
And there it was, that stupid picture -_-
Ha, killed my mood pretty quick.

And now that I think about it, it just sucks even more
I need to find out what I did wrong and try to fix it
lol I doubt that will happen

Hmm, fuck low feelings

Meh! I don't want to go to TKD anymore now
But I have to, I need to teach for four hours a week
Why the hell did I get my 2nd degree blkblt?!

Still wanting to quit, but I know I can't. Then they'll all hate me for it =P
Plus it's a good workout when I actually go.

WANT SLEEP!!
xP